“Playing well with others.” Didn’t you detest seeing that question on your report card?
How did your young adult score on that as a child? We can hear parents all across the fruited plain shouting their answers! The “get along” challenge answers sound like this:
“Kicked to the Dorm Hallway Curb”
Did we ever tell you about this awesome freshman college co-ed that was basically “kicked out” of her dorm room because her roommate wanted her “significant other” to practically move in?True story. Frustrating 1stcollege year.“I No Longer Talk to my Best Friend”Best friends since 1stgrade began not speaking in High School. Why?
As we’ve taught high school students on a myriad of “life” topics, it gradually dawned on us that no one had taken the time to teach them how to approach conflict.
Teens have and will experience conflict everywhere, from best friends to that hugely important upcoming college roommate. There are many ways we can help our kids solve concerns and avoid conflict altogether. But this simple technique is a surefire thing to add to our kids repertoire. We call our technique:
“Communication Transferal”
Example:
College freshman Mark, a study-holic and “ keep the room organized” type of person, enters his dorm room to see clutter chaos. His freshman roommate Bill, a free thinker, fun, and all-around “no need to organize” type of person, sits among the room ruins. Now what?
Mark could say:
Mark should say:
“Our room always seems messy and I can’t find a place to study. What can we do?”
Did you notice?
Of course, there are more steps both Mark and Bill could employ to get to a satisfactory conclusion but our point is to move the personal accusation out of a sentence. Honesty, not putting off concerns until they’ve grown into Mt. Everest, and finding a reason for Bill to buy into the new method are also areas to explore, too.
So now when you see your young adult struggling with how to deliver tough news – try this technique. It can work!
“Giving your teens little bits of wisdom along the way creates the best life-map!”
What are some of those bigger nuggets to teach your child before they fly? Here are 8 we feel are important.
You are time challenged and yet there is so much left to teach your teen before they’ve flown. Take heart in that often just moving the “learning needle” forward is a great achievement. Don’t let your “I’m almost done” tiredness get you down. The rewards of watching your child fly successfully will far outweigh those occasional parent sleepless nights!
Have a GREAT week and
YES, You CAN Have Success in the Middle of it ALL
Pam and Holly
Pam Hardison, MBA, BBA in Finance and Business Education, has created and co-owned a national mail order catalog which at one point was the 21st fastest growing customerbase in the nation. As a mom of two college-post college daughters, considers it a privilege and to meet other students and parents along the same road. After teaching high school and college students for years, her commitment to helping them with topics most schools can't cover is the light that drives her.
Holly Powers, Attorney-At-Law (Jameson & Powers, P.C.) has been actively practicing law since 1985 and is a shareholder with the law firm of Jameson & Powers, P.C. The firm specializes in transactional law, health care law, and general business law. Holly has taught students precepts concerning the legal world for over 10 years. With 4 children, she understands what teens need to know and has a passion to help others faced with teens and aging parents.
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